Week 2 Story: A Fairy's Story
“The men have been here long enough, they’ll be eaten in a few nights,” I say.
“You can’t,” Kaeli stresses.
“But I can't sit here and watch them die when I can do something,” I answer. Already deciding in my mind that I must step in and help them out of the reach of the goblins’ teeth. Plus… I remember how handsome their leader was. And with that in mind, I head towards the field of flying Pegasus, determined to save that man at least.
“I know what you’re thinking, and remember he married one of them,” Kaeli reminds me. I guess she followed me, I can hear her breath hitching from stressing her wings in an attempt to catch up with me.
“He didn’t know what he was doing.”
She’s silent but I know what she’s thinking, though I don’t push it. With a whistle, my flying friend appears. Kaeli and I climb up and off we fly towards the sailors.
Approaching, I see him. He’s outside looking concerned. I guide us to swoop down and land directly next to him.
“Climb up here, I’m here to help you escape.”
“Oh?” He looks confused.
“From the goblins. Come on!”
“Goblins?” He looks confused.
“Your wife is a goblin,” I say exasperated.
He shakes his head in disbelief.
“I’ll go.” A voice breaks the silence. I turn my head. The man takes a courageous step forward and begins to climb up to join us.
“I escaped marriage and for the best, it seems.” He has a slightly smug grin on his face.
“Anyone else?” I ask. They can’t say I didn’t offer. No one steps forward of the thirty sailors left. I shake my head and off we go.
That was the last night anyone seen or heard of the sailors. Rumors of goblins spread, warning every man and woman to never set foot on the island.
Authors Note: I used the sailors, Pegasus, goblin wives, and fairy. Kaeli is an additional fairy friend and the one smart guy who was rescued was technically not a part of the original story. I also changed the plot quite a bit. My writing just took me that way.
Bibliography
Source Story: "Goblin City" from Jatakas by Laura Gibbs
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Great story! I really enjoyed reading it. I saw you were and English major, so I had kind of already assumed you would have a good story. Adding additional characters is a great idea and is very creative. This story was by far my favorite one I have read so far. Keep up the great work with your dialog and fascinating ideas!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first story I have read in first person and I really enjoyed the change up! I would have loved to have been given more of a background on the characters as I was not sure who was all involved in the story totally. I liked your use of vocabulary and some of your verbs and adjectives made me think about re wording some of my own stories!
ReplyDeleteHey, I just want to say I really liked your story. Your story is by far the one with the most dialogue, which I really liked. I find it interesting that most people (me very much included) normally try to stay away from dialogue. I believe its because dialogue is kind of intimidating and personally I find it quite difficult to to incorporate it successfully into a story without deviating too much from the overarching plot of the story. I do have one question though, why did you choose to name the female characters but you left the male characters unnamed? Based on how I understood your story, the male characters had a pretty tangible role, and I think they would have benefitted from having some names. I also did get a little lost with the names since I was not very familiar with the the story. Other than that I really enjoyed reading your story. It was very entertaining.
ReplyDeleteHello there, Aleshia! I really liked your story and how you changed it from a third-person narrative to a first-person point of view. When I first read "Goblin City", I was very curious about the two fairies and their miraculous appearance. I didn't understand why they would care to save the sailors in the first place, so it was interesting to hear about their moral quandary. I wonder why the fairies need a pegasus if they, themselves, already have wings? Are they naturally slow fliers? Maybe they are just more cartoon-style fairies rather than very powerful ones? I also wonder what would have happened if the fairies, rather than saving the men by feeling, stayed to fight off the goblins. I don't know a lot of about the two mythological creatures, but it would be interesting to know which would be stronger. I also wonder what kind of weapons a fairy would use, or where their power would come from. Great story!
ReplyDeleteThis story was suspenseful! The dialogue was a great component. It made the story feel more personal, like I am actually there overhearing the conversation. The first person perspective also was refreshing. Hearing these stories from the way characters think gives more insight and makes the reader feel less of a reader but like they're actually there. I got confused a bit with characters and names I know when writing it is easy to get lost with the story and forget how the reader might interpret the story- so maybe some more specificity would help to enhance it! Other than that it was well written and I very much enjoyed this!
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting take on the story of the Goblin City. I really like how it is dialog-driven. I think it gives a lot more life and personality to the characters. If you had chosen to write primarily about the characters' actions, I think it might be a bit flat. I'm curious about your motivation behind having only a single sailor be rescued. What made you decide that was the direction you want to take? It didn't seem to tie to any theme or moral, or really add much to the story. Because it is so specific, it feels to the writer like it should, though. That can leave the reader kind of confused. I would suggest you either have a few be rescued and a few stay behind, or give some greater significance to the one person who was rescued. Perhaps tell their story, or give them a reward.
ReplyDelete