Week 6 Story: Ekalavya's Misfortune
"I am a pupil of Drona," I say.
The whisper amongst themselves. Until I hear them say, "Call for Drona. Call for Drona."
Before Drona arrives, I make the decision that I will do whatever must be done to have some good fortune for my name. It isn't fair that I wasn't born to wealth and that eliminates my rights.
Drona approaches me saying, "I have heard a word that you claim yourself to be my pupil."
I nod my head. "Yes, ask of me anything and I shall deliver."
Drona thinks for a second. "Chop off thy right thumb, for that is what I must have of you."
I nod, and with a smile and my head held high grab for my knife. I place my hand on a tall rock nearby and quickly slice my thumb from my right hand.
The blood begins to gush and quickly I rip a piece of my garment off to wrap my severed hand in. I turn to hand my prized thumb to Drona.
And then it hits me. How might I have any skill left without my thumb to guide my arrows?
My smile fades, but I can't let them see. Drona smiles and the group turns to leave. I let them go.
As the bleeding from my thumb begins to subside, I look at the bow sitting beside me. I must find a way to overcome this problem.
I pick up my bow and struggle before attempting to use my forefingers. It works. Somewhat.
I practice until my fingers ache and are cracked from the string before heading back home.
I will make this a thing. Skill with the bow without using the thumb. I must, I think as my walk takes me home.
Author's Note: I decided the story needed more on the poor archer who just wants to be recognized. He must have had some sort of feelings about being asked to chop his thumb off when he needed his thumb. I know that was the point but surely he must have felt betrayed, and that is what I wrote into the story.
Story Source: Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie
Ekalavya
I'm glad someone else wanted to hear more from the archer, and from a more sympathetic perspective. Yes, maybe he shouldn't have been so obedient or eager to please Drona, but one feels for him.
ReplyDeleteI like your first person style. The paragraph and line breaks seem to be a little bit strange and inconsistent -- is Blogger messing with your formatting?
I particularly like your strong, mysterious opening: "They ask me who I am." It's short and sweet and powerful.
Best,
A.
Hi Aleshia,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you went into more detail on this story. I felt sorry for the archer and I wondered what he was thinking. It was nice to see how even though he lost his thumb that didn't stop him from giving up archery. I really liked the detail in your story and the way you introduced the character. We could see his motives for what he did and the regret he felt after.
Hi Aleshia! I really enjoyed reading your version of the story. I thought that Drona was cruel to demand the boy of his thumb. With that being said, I liked how you wrote the story predominantly from his point of view of the betrayal. The boy only wanted to be his pupil and be recognized in their eyes, but was asked to cut his own thumb off. Furthermore, I like how you wrote about the boys perseverance to overcome this obstacle.
ReplyDeleteWow! I agree with what someone said earlier-I'm glad you took a sympathetic perspective for the archer. It is interesting but also refreshing reading a story in first-person! The mystery of knowing who is talking builds anticipation, which is always great for a story! I think the content itself was great but also the aesthetic works (separated lines, easy to read font, etc). I try to give some suggestions but I really don't have any! I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi Aleshia!
ReplyDeleteI haven't read this story before because I chose Narayan's version of the Mahabharata and so I was interested in seeing where it went. It seems like a rather unfair story and honestly, I'm not sure I really liked Drona as a character even before this. I thought it was cool how you took the poor archer's perspective on this as well.
Hello there, Aleshia!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story today! It was very interesting to see this angle of the situation, in which the archer is made to be sympathized with. I also like how your story is written from a first person perspective, which makes the writing so expressive and connectable. It's always easier to describe a character's feelings from their shoes, rather than having to over explain and provide lot of context in the third person. Overall, this was a great story!